a story..

"where were you when I needed you the most?" she said as she laid down her self beside her universe.

he turned his head, gave her a glance as he put his gaze back to the view before them, "I was there. behind you."

"you were there right behind me?? did nothing while I was dying?"

she almost shouted. she gave him a wrath gaze, but he kept paying attention to the twilight sky.

"hey. look at me!"

he didn't move even for a single sight.

"I said, look at me!"

she shouted. eventually. and he looked toward her, avoiding her eyes.

"look at me, in the eyes."

it took him couple seconds until she finally caught his eyes.

"where were you?" she said gently.

"I was there.." 

he seemed to hold up his tears, as he turned away.

"hey," she touched his cheek gently. until he could calm himself with that soft touch.

"I wanted to help. I really was and am,"

he stopped cause he couldn't bear to hold a little longer. tears fell without any permission.

she was still there, looking into his puffy eyes, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

"but I couldn't. I want you to learn how to survive and manage tough things without me. I'm afraid if one day I couldn't be able to always be on your side, wipe your tears, draw sweet smile on your face. it hurts me. it hurts me whenever I think about that."

she smiled, as she wiped his tears with her sniffer, "but you'll never leave me, you said that."

"yes. I will never leave you, but what if God writes a different path for us? will we be able to change it?"

now it's her turn to cry. she knows. she knows he'd think that way. when everything was so perfect, she knows that time will come, at least probably may come.

he grabbed her hands, slowly and gently at the same time. made no distance between them, put her in his arms. in his cuddle.

"promise me, you'll be a strong girl."

"promise me, you'll never leave me."

they both left in tears. hoping for the best resolution will take their side. although there will be two possibilities, they'll be back together, or never be.



--a story between a fighter girl and her own universe. the universe she built. the universe she has chosen.




-sei. 1.4.20.





this picture was taken by me on a fly over, Yogyakarta.

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